


What Are We Now

by the_faultlines



Series: So Ist Es Immer [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, fluff near the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-07-30 22:35:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20104726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_faultlines/pseuds/the_faultlines
Summary: Following the battle at Shiganshina, the older veterans found another new foe to face- change.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First fic in a long time so bear with me! Constructive critiques are welcome at any time!

Quite frequently, Levi would catch her pulling out a folded piece of paper from her jacket pocket. She would usually do it when she spent hours behind the desk filling out paperwork, and continued as they began the long journey of writing letters to the families of their fallen comrades. In a quiet moment, Hange would reach into her coat and pull out the paper, unfolding it carefully and gazing at the contents for a few minutes, almost as if she was dissecting every individual ink blotch. Then, she would fold it back up and stash it away once more, going back to work like nothing happened.

For awhile, Levi didn’t bother calling her on it. In fact, in the days following the battle at Shiganshina, he nearly forgot that Hange was even there. He became so enveloped in guilt and regret over his decision that led to Erwin’s death, that he didn’t realize that someone else had to deal with it as well, even more so. She was thrown into the position without even catching her breath, and was left to pick up the pieces Erwin left behind. Levi thought that he was left completely alone, but in fact, he still had someone left. Someone, he realized he couldn’t afford to lose.

The realization hit him one night, as storms plagued the Survey Corps headquarters leaving him even more restless than usual. He sat in his chair, staring at the wall as rain whipped the window pane. Levi couldn’t sleep, which wasn’t unusual for the veteran captain. However, the thoughts he had weren’t filled with loss and regret, but rather a peculiar person.

He remembered a certain memory from a few years ago on a night similar to this. He was looking out the window, tea in hand, when he spotted then squad leader, Hange Zoe, running out into the rain like a mad man. Her arms were wide open to the sky as he heard her loud cackle above the claps of thunder.

“Squad leader, it’s not safe out here!” her assistant squealed as he ran out to her with cloak in hand. Levi couldn’t recall why she ran out in the first place, but he did remember her running into his room minutes later with a huge smile on her face and water dripping from her clothes onto his newly polished floors.

Despite how irritating they were, Levi missed those times- back before everything went to complete shit, when all they had to worry about were titans. Now, he found himself longing to return to those times, wondering if he would see days like those again. Unfortunately, the people he shared those memories with were gone forever...except for one.

He decided to walk over to the commander’s office, knowing that she was no doubt awake. Warm lights shone through the cracks in the door, and knocking gently a couple times, he entered. Hange was sitting behind the desk, her pen looping and scratching quickly over a document. By the stack of letters by her elbow, he knew she was writing one of those terrible letters to the family of a fallen soldier once more.

“Come to write some more?” Hange asked, as she finished up the letter. She blew on the paper, letting the ink dry before folding it up and sealing it in an envelope.

“Sure,” he responded, taking a seat in the chair adjacent to her. He grabbed one of the empty papers from the neat pile and picked up a pen. They continued writing in silence.

That’s how it was lately- silent. On any other day, Levi would enjoy the silence, but ever since they returned from Shiganshina, the silence was deafening- especially between the two of them. There were no more jokes, or side comments, or practically any conversations between the two veterans anymore that wasn’t professional. It seemed as if a huge cloud hung over both of them.

He was sure Hange held some resentment towards him after he decided to save Armin over Erwin, and he couldn’t blame her. He was angry at himself too, in more ways than one. Despite her assuring him that it was just her own anxieties in her new position, he couldn’t help but feel the slight hostility.

During his writing, Levi caught Hange (again) pulling out the paper from her jacket. Except this time, he took advantage and asked about it. The silence was becoming too unbearable, and he asked the question more as a way to get out of the deafening rut they were in.

“What’s with the paper you keep looking at?” He questioned.

Hange, who was intensely focused on the document, looked up, her gaze softening. She placed the paper down on the desk, and quietly passed it over to him. Upon examining it, Levi realized it was a very detailed drawing with colors so vivid, it made it almost lifelike. The drawing was of them, the veterans, seeming to enjoy a random day out, picnicking of all things.

Mike was there, carrying two bottles of alcohol, with Moblit reaching up and grasping for them. Erwin was there holding a quiet conversation with Nanaba. Hange was there, staring right through the paper, almost as if she was looking right at him. Her huge brown eyes filled with wonder, her gaze not hidden behind those dirty lenses she wore so often. Levi was there even, staring directly towards her. And everyone seemed at peace- like titans never existed- in a world where they all led normal lives somewhere on the outside.

“I went into Moblit’s quarters the night we came back...to gather his things and such,” Hange explained, “and I found a drawer filled with sketches of his. I forgot how wonderful an artist he was.”

For a moment, Levi swore he saw the corners of Hange’s lips perk up when she spoke of her fallen friend.

“Moblit did this?” Levi asked, tracing his fingers across his own face on the drawing. “Damn, did I really look like that?” He made the comment more in an attempt to lighten the mood, and it worked for a little bit. Hange chuckled softly, before taking the paper back.

“I don’t know,” she sighed, her shoulders hanging even lower than before as she leaned back into the seat. “I guess it gives me...comfort somewhat. All of us there, having a picnic above all things. It’s so mundane...yet so beautiful.” Her gaze softened as she looked at the picture one last time before putting it away.

Levi, suddenly feeling extremely awkward, cleared his throat and got back to business. “So, how many do we have left?”

Hange looked up in slight surprise. “Oh,” she spoke, the glimmer now gone once again from her eyes. “Two more, I think.” She picked up the paper containing the line of names. Scrolling all the way down to the bottom, she read off the last two.

“Dieter Audenburg and...Moblit Berner,” she said, her throat running dry.

Levi saw her pause, and offered to write Moblit’s to spare her the trouble. “No,” she said sharply. “Let me do it.”

And so they set to work writing the last two letters. Levi finished Dieter’s, a younger veteran of the corps whom he remembered from the 57th Expedition, rather quickly. He followed the same guidelines they used when writing any ordinary letter. But as he looked up to the commander, whose pen was practically digging into the desk as they continued onto their second page, he knew that she was following no guideline.

Three pages, front and back, Hange had written before finally ending the letter. As she wrote her signature at the bottom of the page, Levi could see the tears welling up in her eye.

“Could you read it for me?” she asked, quickly wiping her eye with her palm.

Quietly, Levi took the papers and read each powerful word. In the letter, she went on to talk about their trainee days, their time in the corps, and their relationship as a whole. It was beautifully written, probably the best piece of writing he had seen in years. Levi realized then how much the assistant, whom he often overlooked, had meant to her. He was more than just a comrade, but a dear friend and at times, only supporter. He was by her side way before Levi came into the picture and despite being driven to alcoholism, Moblit never left Hange’s side, always trying to keep her out of trouble until the very end. 

“Not bad,” he muttered, feeling a lump in his throat.

“Thanks,” the commander responded as she took the papers back and carefully folded them. “I tried, but I think I could've said things better."

"No," Levi assured, "it's a great letter, one of the best I've seen."

After sealing the last envelope, Hange sighed. “That’s the last of them.”

“We’ll have the others begin to deliver them tomorrow,” Levi added. “I guess I'll make some visits as well."

Hange hummed, stretching her arms out in front of her. "I want to deliver a few personally," she spoke and Levi could guess which one in particular. "As for now," she yawned, "I think I'll finally get to bed. I can't remember the last time I saw my pillow."

The commander stood up, groaning from sitting for too long. Levi remained seated, looking over the piles of letters in thought. "Don't forget to blow out the candles when you're done," Hange said as she headed for the door. "The last thing I need right now is for this place to burn down."

"Four-Eyes," the word slipped suddenly out of his mouth. Hange froze, her hand clutching the brass handle to the door. "H-Have a goodnight," he muttered.

Silence. The same silence that had been between the two of them for a couple weeks now. Frankly, Levi didn't have the faintest clue why he felt compelled to keep Hange from leaving so soon. Maybe it was to quell the strong sense of loneliness he had been feeling lately, or to get her mind off of Moblit and those memories that were tied to him. Or maybe it was to get the chance to bring back the relationship they used to have- the one filled with light hearted taunts and nicknames, inside jokes and the deep sense of camaraderie.

But he had to admit, he could have said something better at that moment. Levi could hear her sigh, and could practically feel the weight of the tension that was accompanied by it.

"It’s just two now," she muttered. The captain stiffened as he realized his sudden error as his futile attempt to bring back the old humor between the two of them quickly burned down in flames. 

"Goodnight, Levi." The door quickly shut behind him.

_Dammit._


	2. Chapter 2

It was a small cottage nestled between the mountains inside Wall Rose. Rolling pastures surrounded the house, and a small pond with a family of ducks was only a few yards away. Smoke was rising from the chimney, the smell of fresh roast wafting through an open window.

It was a peaceful place, a place where the two would often escape when they had days off from work. And despite all that has happened since there summer escapades, Hange could still feel an inner peace wash over her as she walked up the overgrown path towards the door of the cottage.

She could feel the letter burning in her breast pocket, her heart beating faster and faster the closer she got to the door. The satchel that hung by her side felt like it carried bricks. Memories began to flood her mind as she looked at the landscape. The battle hardened commander could still see their ghosts laying out in the fields of flowers.

Hange knocked on the door, and a few seconds later a petite elderly woman opened it.

“Oh,” the woman stood a little straighter, her eyes widening. “Commander Zoe, I-I wasn’t expecting you here.”

“No worries Ms. Berner,” Hange replied, her gaze softening. “And you don’t have to call me commander. I’m still Hans,” she chuckled, placing a gentle hand on the elder’s shoulder.

Ms. Berner invited her inside, urging her to sit down. “I would’ve prepared more if I knew I was expecting you,” she spoke as she set to work pouring her some tea. 

“It’s quite alright, really,” Hange assured as she leaned back into the soft cushion chair.

She closed her eyes, taking in the familiarity of the home. Everything was how it used to be back when she was younger. Moblit’s parents had died when he was too young to remember, and so his grandparents took him in immediately. And it was at his grandparents house where Hange made some of her fondest memories during her trainee days. Grandma Berner would be cooking pastries in the kitchen, filling the house in sweet aromas while Grandpa Berner would come in from the fields and prop his feet up on the recliner by the fire.

“My grandson,” the old woman spoke as she placed a cup of tea on the table beside Hange. She brushed her hands on her apron and sat on the chair beside her “How is he?”

The commander stiffened, her breath getting caught in her throat. “Ms. Berner,” she spoke, leaning forward and capturing the old woman’s feeble hands in her own. “Um,” she stuttered, feeling the burn of emotions flooding towards her. She let go of Ms. Berner’s hands and reached for the satchel. She pulled out the neatly folded Survey Corps cloak and reached for the letter out of her chest pocket. “This is for you,” she handed the old woman the items, and she carefully took it. “Moblit,” Hange swallowed, “died retaking Wall Maria for us.”

The grandmother slowly shook her head, “No,” she muttered, turning to the letter to hopefully find a different answer. She unfolded the pages and briskly read all the words, searching for the truth that she wanted to hear- that Moblit was alive and well.

But the truth was anything but.

Her reaction was as expected of any grieving grandmother who had taken their grandson in. Piercing sobs broke the peaceful atmosphere in the cottage. Hange got down on her knees by the old woman, and could do nothing but hold her wrinkled hands as she cried into the commander’s shoulder. 

It took all of the veteran to remain unbroken. The worst thing for her to do at that moment was break in front of Ms. Berner, who was already in a fragile state. She had to remain strong despite feeling completely destroyed inside.

  
After awhile, when she was able to control the sobs, Ms. Berner looked up, the lenses of her glasses foggy and smudged. After wiping them on her apron, she cupped Hange’s face in both her hands, using her thumb to wipe the tears that ran down the commander’s own cheeks. And, despite the devastating news she had just received, the elderly woman smiled.

“Don’t cry, Hans,” she spoke, as a few tears still ran down her wrinkled face. “He would want you to be happy.”

Hange looked away, placing her hand on Ms. Berner’s. “I know,” she sniffed. “I just don’t know what to do now. Moblit saved my life, Ms. Berner. How can I ever repay him?”

“You don’t have to repay him,” she replied softly. She pulled Hange to face her once again. “Just don’t let him regret saving you, Hange. And I know it in my heart, that you won’t. I know for a fact that you’ll prove to him, and everyone, that their sacrifices won’t be in vain. I know that you will save us.”

That one comment completely destroyed the crumbling facade of the commander. Hange sobbed into the lap of the elderly woman, her hands clutching her skirt as Ms. Berner rubbed circles on her back.

After a few moments, Hange looked up and smiled, as tears streamed down her face. Slowly, she nodded. “I promise you I won’t,” she spoke.

Hange ended up staying for dinner, catching up and reliving old memories. The evening turned into night, and the two remained, talking and laughing like old friends. Ms. Berner even made her famous apple cinnamon pie.

“So, this Levi you keep talking about. It seems like you two are very close,” Ms. Berner spoke with a hint of suggestion.

“We’ve been through a lot together,” Hange spoke as she dug into a piece of the pie. “I mean, we’re the last two survivors of our time.”

“He seems somewhat harsh,” the woman said.

“He didn’t exactly have it easy when he was growing up,” Hange explained. “Life hasn’t been too kind to him, unfortunately. But he’s got a soft heart underneath all that armor he wears.”

Ms. Berner hummed, her eyes narrowing as her smile grew wider. 

“We’re friends,” Hange assured, “just friends.”

“The look on your face tells me otherwise,” the woman replied. “You know, when Moblit would write me, he sometimes would explain his theories as to your relationship with him.”

“Theories?” the commander could feel a slight warmth grow on her cheeks. 

“Yes,” Ms. Berner continued, “apparently it was thought that you two may have...something else going on behind closed doors.”

Hange chuckled, humored by the fact that her friend assumed that she and Levi were involved in a secret romance. Sure, she had thoughts of it once in awhile, but never would she act on it. She and Levi were friends and comrades, nothing more.

“No, no, I assure you, we’re just friends,” Hange spoke. Ms. Berner hummed, smiling mischievously but putting the issue to bed. 

Evening turned to night, and the commander decided to head back home. Ms. Berner had baked more pies for the commander to give to the rest of the corps, and even a special one for Levi. 

As Hange said goodbye and rode out, she could feel some of the weight slip off her shoulders. But her anxieties were not completely gone. Now that she had come to terms with Moblit’s passing, new fears began to arise of the unforeseeable future, as well as old feelings that slowly began to rekindle in her heart.

“Pies, huh?” Levi spoke as he examined the sweet smelling pastries inside the satchel. 

“They’re good, trust me,” Hange responded as he she stuffed a forkful into her mouth. She stabbed a piece and shoved it in Levi’s face. “Try it,” she mumbled, crumbs falling from her mouth.

_ Tsk. _He pushed the fork of pie out of his face in disgust. He hated sharing food, let alone from the same utensil. 

Hange shrugged. “Have it your way,” she replied, eating another piece. 

Levi watched as the commander ate and ate at the pie, and couldn’t help but chuckle softly, and he could feel the corner of his lips push up somewhat. He enjoyed watching Hange relax, feeling a little more at ease himself. The tension seemed to ease up, and he started seeing glimpses of the eccentric woman he fell- 

_ No. _ He thought. _ Definitely not. _

“Levi,” Hange muttered. “Are you...smiling?”

“What? No,” he responded, the moment now broken. But Hange knew better- she swore she saw a little smirk. And Levi made it so obvious by the way he cleared his throat and looked away. But instead, she decided not to pursue it, wanting to leave the short man alone.

Levi glanced back at the pies. “I wonder what Erwin would think of you stuffing your face like this,” he muttered, his finger tracing shapes on the table.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She responded, placing her fork down on the plate.

Levi sighed, looking towards the ceiling. "Nothing, I’m just wondering what he’d think of all this.”

Hange placed the plate down, the pie suddenly feeling a little less appetizing than before. She couldn’t remember the last time they had an interaction without Levi mentioning Erwin once or twice. He was stuck in the past and seemingly obsessed with the blonde. While she was slowly trying to move forward, Levi still seemed too stubborn to let go. And because of his stubbornness, he kept pulling her back, reminding her of everything Erwin was and what she wasn't. Hange knew it was hard for him, but the consistent comments about their old friend and the constant comparison between her and Erwin started to get on her nerves. 

“Levi,” Hange spoke, “You may want to eat your pie before that Sasha girl takes it.”

Levi, who seemed to have been in a train of thought, looked towards her. “Yeah, I’ll eat it tomorrow.”

The commander hummed, tapping her fingers on the plate. “Well,” she sighed, “I think I’ll head off now. It's getting pretty late.”

Hange quickly packed up the rest of the pie, cleaning up all the crumbs that were left on the table that may alert some other hungry guests. Levi felt a small change in atmosphere as he watched her stiffly clean up. Since when had she been concerned with getting to sleep early? Hange had always been known to stay up at ungodly hours. Even now, despite being commander, she would stay up doing paperwork or reading. It seemed that the small glimmer of light he began to see had since gone out. But why? Was it something he said?

“Hange,” Levi spoke, “I-I’m sorry.”

Hange looked over her shoulder, her foot already halfway out the door. “For what?” she chuckled.

Levi didn’t really know for what reason he needed to apologize, he just felt that he did something- something that made her uncomfortable enough to leave.

“I,” he sighed, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck. “Sorry, never mind. I forgot.”

“Hmm,” she hummed, nodding her head a couple times and biting her lip. It looked as if she expected something else from him. But what was it?

“Well, have a goodnight," she spoke.

“Goodnight,” he replied, watching her close the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was mostly written when i was pretty sleep deprived so please forgive me if there are some errors. The next chapter is going to get a little more exciting and i can't wait to get it out!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a roller coaster of emotions as the two vets finally have some time to talk.

A makeshift funeral for Erwin was planned a few weeks after their return. His body still remained in a small house back in Shiganshina, but many of the military higher ups wanted to have somewhat of a send off to finally lay the man to rest and give closure to many. Hange and Levi expected a rather small outcome, but were surprised to see crowds of military personnel, as well as high class civilians gather at the Survey Corps headquarters to pay their respects to the late commander.

“I may have said a word or two to a few people,” Nile shrugged as Hange greeted him at the gate. Flanked by him was the rest of his family, including his wife, Marie.

“Haven’t seen you in a while,” Hange smirked at the smaller woman.

“A sight for sore eyes, indeed,” Marie smiled, surprising the commander with a hug. “Time’s done a number on you, Hange, but you’re still the same old trainee I met in that bar.”

Marie tightened her hug, causing Hange to gasp for air. “And you’re still the same tiny ginger that could kill a man with her ungodly hugs,” she croaked, awkwardly patting her on the back.

After introducing Levi to Marie and the children, they were ushered inside along with the rest of the crowd so that the ceremony could begin.

  
The event went without a hitch, and despite being quite somber, the air seemed to lighten after the ceremony. They buried one of his cloaks as well as his bolo tie in the fields behind the castle. It was a beautiful little moment, which Zackily made sure to take all the credit for. 

Afterwards, there were light refreshments in the dining hall, courtesy of the Reeves Company. The next couple hours were spent mingling with the other military branches, and many high class civilians. Eren and his posse enjoyed the time to catch up with their old 104th trainee buddies that went off in different directions, while Flock sort of just hung around and ghosted the area.

Hange constantly found herself being caught up in conversation, mostly being asked questions about Erwin or how she would differ from his commanding style. It was nice at first, but soon after, the questions and topics began to get a little more than annoying. It was a constant wave of her being compared to the late and great commander, with people mentioning her past record of recklessness and how that would maybe interfere. They would often question why he picked her, what he saw in her, and what her specialties were. 

Every time she tried to shift the topics, they would always go back to Erwin and her. From across the room, Levi noticed her tension building, but he too was caught up in conversations that he could only cast glances from afar. 

  
  
  


It was near the end of the small ceremony. Levi had finished dealing with a rabid fan from the Garrison when he heard some commotion come from the other side of the room. When he looked over, he saw a group of rich men crowding together, whispering and casting glances towards Hange, who was pushing through the crowd towards the door. 

Not knowing what exactly happened, he headed after her, slightly embarrassed by the fact that the face of the Survey Corps was causing a scene, especially in front of very influential people. He headed out the front doors, and after searching for a few minutes, he saw a lone figure standing under a large oak by the creek that ran nearby. 

Furious by her leaving, he stormed over to where she stood. “What the hell is going on? You can’t just leave when you feel overwhelmed! Do you know how embarrassing that is?"

No response came from the woman. Levi took a sharp breath. "Erwin would never do-“

“I’m not Erwin!” Hange yelled suddenly, snapping her head back to face the captain. Her fists were clenched, her eye, flaming. 

Levi hushed immediately, slightly taken aback by her tone. Silence followed for a moment, as her echo was carried away in the breeze. 

“Why can’t people like you understand?” She spoke softer this time, her shoulders falling as the tension slipped away. “I’m just..._ me _.”

Hange looked away, her gaze settling on the creek in front of her. The light breeze rustled the leaves, as crows cawed in the distance. “Erwin’s dead,” she muttered,” and as much as we want him to, he’s never coming back.”

Levi, realizing that he had touched a nerve, immediately retreated. The cold exterior of the veteran suddenly shied away, revealing an embarrassed and softer man. “’I-I’m sorry,” he quickly apologized, “I shouldn’t have-“

“You’re just like them, Levi,” she continued, as she took off her glasses and placed them in her breast pocket. “Ever since we came back it’s been nothing but how I measure up to Erwin; how I keep doing things that he would never do; how I won’t be able to lead like him, or..._ be _ like him.” 

“I’m sorry, Hange,” Levi spoke up, swallowing the small lump in his throat. “It’s been hard for all of us.”

“You think it’s hard?” Hange snapped, the anger returning. “You have no idea how hard it is!” She rammed a fist into the oak tree she stood by, splinters of bark flying from the impact.

“You have no idea what it’s like to not only lose everyone you’ve loved, but to not even have the time to grieve because you have the responsibility of your entire people on your shoulders!”

By this point, she was facing the captain, fists clenched and seemingly ready to strike again. She had become unhinged, Levi was sure of it, and knew it was because of his doing. He should have been there to listen, not provoke her even more. Levi had to remind himself that they were no longer in the same positions and he couldn’t continue treating her the way he used to. She held the higher position now, and he had to respect that and most importantly, respect her.

Hange glanced down at her fist, noticing a few drops of blood beginning to form at her knuckles. She realized that the may have overstepped the line, and immediately felt a wave of embarrassment. Slowly, she released her grip, letting herself calm down. “I’m sorry,” she spoke, turning away from the captain. 

“No, I’m sorry,” he was quick to respond, taking a few steps closer to her. “I shouldn’t have attacked you like that. I-,” he swallowed, “I’m sorry.”

Hange sighed, letting the heavy weight on her shoulders pull her down to the ground. “You apologize too much,” she muttered. “What happened? You had never apologized this much before. Ever since we’ve returned from Shinganshina...”

“I’m sorry I-“ he pressed his lips together, catching himself once again apologizing. Not knowing what else to do or say, Levi decided to take a seat next to her, still keeping a fair distance.

It was quiet for a few moments, as the sound of the current helped carry the fallen leaves across the water. Birds chirped up in the trees, as the setting sun set the leaves ablaze in yellows and oranges.

“I’m tired, Levi,” Hange muttered softly, releasing her fist in the blades of grass. “I’m tired of all this and it hasn’t even begun.” 

“I know,” he sighed, “I am, too.” 

Levi watched as Hange picked up a small rock and examined it for a few moments before casting it into the creek. “I thought after the titans were gone, everything would suddenly just be perfect,” she continued. “I could finally get to do what I wanted to do, not what duty called for.”

The commander’s brows furrowed, her face expressing defeat. “Suddenly we’re the target of the entire world. If Marley suddenly attacks, who will lead us?”

Levi didn’t hesitate to respond. “You.”

Hange looked up into his piercing grey eyes and laughed weakly, picking up another rock and throwing it into the water. “That’s a joke...”

“How is it a joke?” Levi questioned, shifting his weight on his right arm, leaning closer to her.

“This war,” she began, “it's not going to be like the one we just fought. Erwin knew there was someone else behind the titans, and he was ready to face it. Me? I’m not ready for it...I’m just too weak.”

“You’re not weak,” Levi spoke. “You’re one of the strongest people I know.”

But his words didn’t seem to phase her. She looked towards him with a softened gaze and weak smile. “Thanks, Levi,” she spoke. “But I’m not able to give up my humanity like he was. I’m just...not ready.”

Levi glanced away, lips pressed in thought. He didn’t know what else to say, then again, he had never been a skilled talker. Erwin was able to handle his cynical sense of motivation, but with Hange...it was _ different _. When she would hit her low points, she would practically dig a grave around herself. While Erwin was able to handle his emotions under pressure, it seemed that Hange struggled more.

He began to wonder what Moblit would do in this instance- when her self-confidence was at its lowest. Unfortunately, he couldn’t ask him.

They sat for a few minutes, letting the silence sink in and most importantly, letting their heads cool. The evening breeze blew across the living stream, the grass rustling as clouds slowly rolled past in the orange sky.

Hange picked up a pebble and kept rolling it over and over in her hand. Levi’s gaze never left the ground. 

“Can I ask you something?” She finally spoke up.

The captain hummed, slowly looking up to face his commander. His face was softer, his eyes drooping just slightly. He looked tired and slightly lost, nothing that closely resembled the cold and hardened veteran persona he normally put up.

“Why did you pick him? Armin?”

Levi sighed. He knew this question would come one day, and there was no way he could get around it now. He swallowed the hard lump in his throat, and gave the first answer that came to his mind. “I don’t know...”

Hange looked away, hanging her head, a sad smile forming on her lips. “I don’t know, huh?”

“I just thought Erwin’s time was over. He came and accomplished did what he needed to do. We got to the basement, just like he always wanted to do and that was that,” Levi spoke, but the more he explained, the worse the reaction.

“So that was it? That’s all he was for? Getting us to that damn basement?” Hange spoke, anger laced in her words.

“I-I just didn’t think...I wasn’t thinking,” he struggled. That was a lie. He did think that day up on the rooftop and he knew exactly why he chose Armin. But he was already caught up in his poor choice of words, and the commander was having none of it.

“You weren’t thinking?” Hange laughed. “You weren’t thinking!” She knocked her head back, as her shoulders shook. It was a maniacal laugh, but not the laugh she used to have when dealing with titan experiments or in the heat of battle. It was more of a depressing and anguished laugh, and Levi could practically feel the hurt and anger in her tone.

“Leaving me to deal with the wreck he left behind...Do you know how selfish that is?” She lunged towards him and grabbed his collar, a crazed look in her eye. “Do you know how selfish that is, Levi?”

“Selfish, huh? You’re calling me selfish?” He grabbed her wrists, and pushed her away, setting aside the sympathy he felt towards her. “I’m not the one crying because they can’t handle living without Erwin,” the captain snapped. 

Quietly, Hange retreated, leaning against the tree trunk with her shoulders slumped and head hanging low. “I’m not the only one who can’t live without Erwin,” she sniffed, wiping her nose with her sleeve. Levi’s breath caught. After all, he couldn’t deny what she said. It was true. Levi struggled on the daily ever since they returned, and watched as his stoic persona began to crack under the pressure.

Erwin was a constant source of motivation for Levi- a beacon of stability and strength. He had dedicated his entire time in the corps to Erwin and his mission, and now that he was gone, the captain couldn’t help but feel lost.

“You’re right,” he spoke. Hange looked up in slight surprise.

“Everything I ever did, I did for him,” Levi explained. “ But...now he’s gone and I’m still here.”

The captain sighed, leaning forward and bowing his head. Meanwhile, Hange felt a little embarrassed at her outburst. Of course Erwin had meant a lot to Levi, and it wasn’t her place to be angry at him for it. She knew he was suffering just as much as her, if not more. He had to chose to let Erwin, his closest friend and confidant, die- something that no one else had done before. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. 

“No, I’m sorry. None of this would’ve happened if I had chosen Erwin in the beginning,” he responded. "Trust me. Every day I wonder what it would be like if he was here with us. I regret it dearly, but I know that it was for the best."

Levi seemed to shrink, keeping his glance away from her, almost as if he was ashamed. He clasped his hands, letting his arms resting on top of his knees.

The commander sighed. “It’s not your fault, Levi. I’m just angry...and scared.”

Levi lifted his head, watching as Hange picked up another rock, drawing patterns into the dirt. His feelings of guilt seemed to wash away, being replaced by a sense of protectiveness. He hated watching Hange this vulnerable, and felt an overwhelming feeling to comfort her. Slowly, he began shifting ever so slightly towards the commander.

“There’s so much change that’s going to happen,” she continued, “I just don’t know what to do.”

“I know...” the captain responded, looking down towards her hand. Carefully, he moved his hand across the grass until it brushed against hers. It was quiet once more, however this time, it wasn’t filled with the tension that the two had gotten used to.

It seemed that this talk or fight or whatever it was seemed to alleviate what had been weighing on both their minds. Now that everything seemed to be out in the open, with Hange having expressed most of what was bothering her, the two could maybe move forward. 

Levi stretched his pinkie until it touched hers and paused. Hange, who felt the subtle touch, dropped the rock she was holding in her other hand and looked towards him. His lips curved up just slightly, his face looking somewhat in distress. She knew the man was trying to be there for her, but since he was foreign to any sign of affection, he looked more constipated than comforting. Hange chuckled quietly at his expression and glanced down towards their hands, slowly lacing laced her pinkie around his.

Levi sighed in relief, taking the little gesture as a sign of acceptance and forgiveness. He was glad that Hange seemed to have gotten everything off her chest, and he somewhat hoped they could return to their old relationship. _ And maybe something more… _

For now though, he would live in this moment, when the world was at peace and the two could sit in silence, just enjoying each other’s company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried my best to get some of the intense feelings out but let me tell you, it's hard as heck. Hopefully though, I captured them well enough. I'm excited to continue writing the last couple chapters of this short story, as the two moody veterans finally sort things out between them ;)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alcohol really brings out the truth in people. Hange knows first hand...

When Hange didn’t return from Trost late one evening, Levi knew something was wrong. 

It was supposed to be a business trip. Hange had set up a meeting with Pixis concerning the plans to repopulate Wall Maria and rode into Trost earlier that morning. Levi insisted that he come along, but she declined.

It was now close to midnight, and she had yet to return.

Paranoia had taken over him as he quickly saddled his horse and rode out into the night. “Damn shitty-glasses,” he grumbled and cursed. “Erwin would never do this.”

But he stopped there, reminding himself that Hange was not Erwin. She was her own quirky person, who was just a little more reckless and wild than the late commander. And as much as it drove Levi crazy, he made it his new job to make sure she didn’t get into any trouble.

  
Trost was nothing short of a dead end, especially late at night. If people weren’t sleeping, they were crowded in bars getting drunk or drugged off their ass. They would stumble out like zombies, staggering around and laughing like no tomorrow. Levi couldn’t help but look in disgust as he rode through the dirty streets towards the small garrison outpost. The scene would remind him of the Underground, with memories he would rather not relive. 

When he arrived, and questioned the whereabouts of the two commanders, his worst fears were confirmed. The damn old man had taken Hange out to a bar of course. Luckily he got a name and address, and he quickly steered his horse in that direction. If Hange wasn’t stumbling in the streets getting mugged yet, he knew she would be soon.

Fortunately, the bar was in the more wealthy side of town- a rather well taken care of shack named “Rickett’s Tavern”. Large windows managed to give Levi a good look inside. Military officials from all branches seemed to be crowded in there with their kegs of beer or glasses of wine in hand. It didn’t seem too rowdy, which was pretty unusual considering the status of their patrons.

The captain tied his horse to the post outside, and stormed in. The bar smelled sickeningly of alcohol and tobacco, something that Levi was quite familiar with, but a stench that he couldn’t stand. He composed himself and headed towards the bar, surprising the young bartender. 

“You’re Captain Levi!” he spoke gleefully. “Everything’s on the house. Pick whatever you want.”

“I’ll pass,” he responded. “I’m looking for Pixis. Apparently he’s a usual here.”

“Oh, yes,” the young man replied, seeming slightly disheartened that the famous soldier had declined his generous offer. “He’s over in the officer’s corner.”

He pointed over to the farside of the room, where a crowd of garrison soldiers gathered in a sectioned off area. Levi didn’t miss a beat and walked over to them, pushing through the mess of sweaty soldiers. In the middle of the ring was a poker table with Pixis sitting lax on one side, and Hange on the other. Never would he have imagined that she would be blowing money away on bets, and it seemed that miraculously, she was winning. 

“Levi!” Hange exclaimed, taking out the cigarette that was in her mouth. Her cheeks were flush, no doubt from drinking. Luckily, she wasn’t nearly as wasted as Pixis, who was practically passed out in his seat. “Here, have some!” she took her glass of alcohol and shoved it in his face, spilling some of the liquid onto his chin and cravat.

He sputtered, pushing the drink away. “Hange,” he seethed. “What the hell are you doing? We need to leave. Now.”

“But the round barely started!” she whined, as the captain pulled her up from her seat. “I’m winning too, see?”

“Do you have any idea how late it is?” he snapped as he grabbed her jacket and draped it over her shoulders. Meanwhile, the other garrison troops booed and whined at the buzzkill Captain Levi, but he didn’t bother.

“I’m just having a little fun,” she responded gleefully, taking another hit from the cigarette before blowing the excess smoke into Levi’s face. 

He hissed in disgust, quickly grabbing the object from her fingers and tossing it into the ashtray. “We’re leaving.” 

The captain pulled his commander out the door and into the night, with Hange whining and complaining all the way. “Why do you have to be such a stick in the mud?” she asked as he tied her horse to his saddle. 

“Because I don’t want you getting yourself in trouble, headass,” Levi responded as he climbed up on his horse. He reached down to help her up, and she struggled to place her foot in the stirrup. Eventually she found it, and shakily got onto the horse. 

As they began their ride back, Hange wrapped her arms around Levi’s torso to keep her from falling, and relaxed her chin on his shoulder. He stiffened at the physical contact, and could feel a slight warmth spread across his cheeks. He was glad she was too incoherent to notice it.

When they arrived back to HQ, he helped Hange off the horse before taking them both to the stables. “Stay here,” Levi warned before heading to put the horses up.

However, when he came back to where he left her, she was gone. Frantically he searched the courtyard, calling her name and grumbling every so often. Finally, after a few minutes, he found her staggering about, singing and humming.

“God, you’re wasted,” he muttered as he took hold of her.

Levi draped her arm over his shoulder and helped her inside and up to her quarters. Every so often, one of the young recruits would peak their heads out of their room, and he would have to quietly order them back to bed. 

When he finally reached her room, he pushed open the door, and used his foot to close it behind them. By this point he was practically dragging his commander because she was too drunk to walk. He let her fall into the bed, and sat down next to her, taking a moment to rest.

Hange rolled over to face him, lazily wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her face into his lower back.

“Woah,” he jumped to his feet, surprised at the intimate touch. “What are you doing?” He could feel his face become hot, as butterflies swarmed his stomach. 

“Leviii,” she droned. “Come back!”

“No!” He retorted. “You’re drunk off your ass.”

Hange groaned and slowly sat up, reaching her arms out for a hug. “But you’re so comfortable! Almost like a stuffed animal.”

He scoffed in disgust, but couldn’t help but find slight amusement in her drunken antics. “I’m not going to hug you, shitty-glasses. You reek,” he responded. Hange hummed in disappointment, letting her arms fall. Levi watched as she hunched over, her shoulders slack and head hung low. She sniffed, almost as if she was crying.

_ No, don’t do it. _He kept telling himself, but slowly, his sympathy started taking over. 

“Goddammit, Hange,” he muttered, as he walked over and tried his best to embrace her. Levi had never hugged anyone willingly, and was completely clueless on how to properly embrace someone. He was stiff as a board, but Hange didn’t mind. Happily, she wrapped her arms around his torso, letting her forehead rest against his chest as she sighed in relief. 

They remained there, Levi standing awkwardly while the drunken commander held him close. After a couple minutes, be began to get used to the feeling, and found himself slightly enjoying the moment. Hange was a wreck, but in a way, she was his wreck. Slowly he found himself relaxing his chin on the top of her head, taking in the familiarity of her smell. 

She patted his back. “You’re a good man, Moblit.”

Levi stiffened, quickly backing away from her. Hange groggily opened her eye, a look of confusion on her face. 

“Levi, what’s wrong?” she questioned, completely unaware at her mistake.

“Nothing,” he spoke, clearing his throat. “You should probably get some rest.” Levi quickly turned and headed for the door, embarrassed and slightly disheartned. Hange, confused at the sudden change in his demeanor, stood up and caught him by the arm before he managed to leave.

“Levi, wait,” she spoke.

He turned to face her, his breath catching at how close in proximity they were to each other. Their faces were mere inches apart. 

“What?” he muttered, glancing from her flushed cheeks down to her lips and then back up again. 

She flicked down to his lips, before looking back up into his piercing grey eyes. It had to be the alcohol, there was no other answer. In no way was Hange attracted to Levi in such a manner, and she was sure he felt the same way. They were comrades, and maybe at the most very close friends, but definitely not lovers.

Alcohol had clearly affected her decision making. That had to explain the urge she felt.

Slowly, Hange leaned in and softly pressed her lips against his, taking the captain’s breath away. Literally. For a few seconds he couldn’t breathe, completely flabbergasted at what was happening between them.

Levi could taste the alcohol, and the lingering stench of tobacco as their lips melded together. He had never kissed a woman that wasn’t his mother, however, for some reason, the feeling of Hange’s lips against his...It felt so _ right. _

It had to be the alcohol, clearly there was no other explanation. Levi was in no way attracted to Hange. She was loud, messy, and not to mention his superior officer. But...at the same time, she was also funny, smart, and very beautiful despite being dirty half the time.

_No. No way. _

Before he had time to react, Hange broke the intimate moment, but remained close. She looked down at the surprised Levi, and couldn’t help but chuckle. He was an awkward one, that was for sure. 

The captain’s face felt like it was burning, and he could feel his cheeks flush. His mouth was slightly open, almost as if he wanted to speak but nothing came out. His mind was completely blank. 

But the feeling between them was like two powerful magnets, trying to pull each other closer. It was so powerful, that the captain couldn't resist. Levi grabbed her collar and pulled her close once more, pressing his lips against hers in a passionate clash. Their lips connected in a way that felt so comfortable, so _right_, that he didn’t want it to end. 

But before it became something more, Levi quickly backed away, having second thoughts about the affair. “No, this is wrong.” He spoke, pushing the commander back. There was a pregnant pause between the two, as they both looked at each other awkwardly. 

Levi cleared his throat and recomposed himself. “Goodnight, Hange,” he spoke, before turning on his heel and leaving the room.

“Levi,” she called out, but the door was already closed behind him.

Hange, buzzed but somewhat coherent, looked at the spot where he once stood and scratched the back of her head. “What the fuck was in that alcohol?” she muttered, licking her lips.

Alcohol was a strange drug, the commander knew that first hand, and this was a perfect example. But it was also known as a truth serum, bringing out a person’s inner thoughts and desires that they kept hidden while sober. 

Hange didn’t really know why she felt the urge to kiss Levi, but the feeling was stronger than anything she had felt before. However, that didn’t mean that she was attracted to him. He was short, and cold, and vulgar- clearly not lover material. But, she had to admit that beneath all that he was soft spoken, and pretty handsome…

“Damn Pixis,” she grumbled. “He probably slipped something in my drink, trying to make me all loopy of whatever.”

Clearly, that was the only answer. There was no way she was in love with Levi Ackerman. Absolutely no way. Love didn't exist in the Survey Corps because everyone knew that the person to the right or left of them could be dead tomorrow. Plus, with the military rules on priority of life, dating was practically illegal. Of course, people still did it and the consequences were pretty lax, but in their positions, with her being the commander and him a high-ranking captain, it was practically impossible. The risks far outnumbered the benefits.

Hange didn't spend too much time dwelling on it though- her one-to-many drinks starting to take serious effect. She headed back to her bed and collapsed, instantly passing out once her head hit the pillow. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really really wanted to get this chapter out cuz I really wanted to start writing some fluff after all that angst in the last chapter. Sorry if it may seem a little curt at times, I'm still trying to work on writing somewhat romantic pieces. But I'm so happy and honored from all the wonderful comments and support and I'm glad that I could give y'all some good levihan content. Stay tuned for the next chapter cuz stuff is gonna go down ;)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops my hand slipped ;)

The days following their awkward encounter was filled with tension and uncertainty. Every glance held an underlying meaning, every touch or pat on the back left a sore. They both knew that something was going on between them, something that they shouldn’t have. As two high ranking officials in the corps, an intimate relationship between them would not be looked kindly upon.

So, as time passed, the two veterans agreed to forget that night and suppressed their growing feelings, turning their focus towards their new mission. Plans to repopulate Wall Maria had finally been put into place, with the Survey Corps spearheading the operation in collaboration with the Garrison. When the last walking titan was eradicated, the gates of Wall Rose finally opened after five long years, and people poured out in awe and wonder, heading back towards their old homesteads and towns to see what remained.

The migration out of Rose and into Maria was Hange’s first major achievement in command. The press was all over her, excited to hear of her future plans for the people in the walls. By her side the entire time was Levi, who was happy to see the commander making a name for herself and growing away from Erwin’s ghost of an image. She had regained some of her bubbly personality that he used to see, her face becoming brighter as she gave the reporters snippets of the many ideas she had in store. 

But being in the public eye wasn’t always easy. Now, Hange had to maintain a more formal persona when she walked out into town- standing tall, confident, and composed like the commander she was. Everyday held some sort of meeting, whether it be with military officials, the press, or their upper class patrons. And if she wasn’t at meetings, she was gone on visits to oversee the operations over in Maria. Levi was with her for the majority of those outings, but once the corps started to receive waves of new recruits, he was sidelined in order to help train them up. 

One particular outing left Hange out for days. Levi remained vigilant the entire time, watching the gates and wondering when she would return. The captain would pace his room at night, waiting and worrying. Of course he was worried about her. Hange was known to get into trouble, and without him there, who else would protect her? 

It was a sad fact, he had to admit. Never in his career did he imagine catering to the reckless scientist that was Hange Zoe. But life is a funny thing, and combined with great tragedy and hardships, he somehow found himself slowly becoming closely attached to the commander, closer than before. However it was completely mutual...at least, that's what he tried to convince himself.

Finally, he found relief late one night, when the gates to the HQ opened and the weary figure of the commander rode into the courtyard, flanked by Jean and Armin, both equally exhausted.

Wearily, Hange stabled her horse, thanking the two younger veterans for their work before heading up to her quarters. Her legs felt heavy, like sacks of bricks were tied to her ankles. Yes, it was nice to get out of the conference rooms and into the rural areas of Maria, but when her days were filled with constant physical work, the idea of sitting all day didn’t seem too bad.

She arrived to her new office, the office that once belonged to the late Erwin Smith. Boxes, books and papers still scattered the ground from her rushed attempt to move in, but she was too beat to continue where she started.

The commander plopped into the cushioned chair behind the desk, leaning back and sighing. Before she could hit the hay, she first had to write a quick report on her outing, explaining all the details that would be sent to Zackily for review. But she took a quick second to catch her breath before finishing her work.

A knock at the door interrupted her quiet moment.

“Come in,” she spoke over her shoulder, not bothering to turn around and see who entered. Hange instead reached into her breast pocket, and pulled out a small metal box containing cigarettes. 

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” a cool voice spoke from behind her.

The commander put the container away, replacing it with a box of matches. “No, nothing at all,” she responded, striking the match against the rough edge of the box. Carefully, she lit the butt of the cigarette before throwing the spent match into the ashtray.

Spinning around in the chair, her eyes met that of the captain’s, two steaming cups of tea in his hands. “Aww, for me?” she smiled, taking one of the cups from him. 

Levi placed his drink down, leaning against the corner of the desk near her. He pursed his lips, slightly annoyed from the commander’s new habit. He hated the smell of cigarettes, and the fact that Hange seemed to pick up the trait disheartened him.

“How was the trip?” he asked, trying to ignore the smoke coming from her mouth. 

“Busy,” she responded. “We mostly helped oversee the reconstruction of a small town a few miles out. Of course I got down and dirty myself- to set the example, ya know?” She brought the cigarette to her lips once more, drawing in the toxic concoction of chemicals before breathing out. “It was exhausting, but nice. Helped clear my mind for a little bit.”

Levi hummed, but still couldn’t take his eyes off the small object in her mouth. Why would she let such a poisonous thing take hold of her like that? There were so many other things her beautiful lips could do-

_ No. _Levi quickly crushed the growing thoughts in his head. They had both made it clear- that night meant absolutely nothing to them. It was a drunken mistake on Hange’s part and Levi just fell for it.

“How are the recruits?” she asked.

“Acceptable,” he spoke. “Has to be one of the most motivated bunch we've had in years.” Levi lifted up his tea to his lips, taking a few small sips before placing it down. "They're just excited to get a taste of fresh air, really."

Hange chuckled, crossing her arms across her chest and propping her legs up on the table. “Wait until they realize that the war had only just started. Then we’ll see their true colors.”

The captain hummed, glancing around the room where Erwin used to live and breathe in, and the room where Hange now relocated her mess. It still had remnants of the man that used to work there, but for the most part, it was completely renovated with Hange’s signature charm. His large collection of books still remained on the shelves, but her small trinkets and unknown discoveries were placed in and around them. The office had become a mix of the old and new commander's, a swirl of the past and present. 

“How are you, Levi?” 

He looked towards his commander. Her brows were furrowed, gaze focused on him. She held her cigarette between her index and middle finger, while a small cloud of smoke wafted from her lips. 

It had been six months since Erwin had passed- six grueling and scary months since the battle that had left the Survey Corps extremely weakened. But they made it, they were still alive, and slowly, they were moving forward.

Levi thought for a moment. “Managing,” he said at last, crossing his arms across his chest. “You?”

The commander raised her brows, bringing the cigarette back up to her lips and inhaling. She breathed out, letting her shoulders relax into the seat. “Same,” she responded, glancing towards the wall. 

“I see you picked up a habit,” he spoke curtly. The captain had had enough of the thick cloud of smoke that began covering the room, the smell beginning to burn his lungs.

“Oh,” Hange responded, taking the object out of her mouth. “You mean this? I mean, I wouldn’t call it a habit.”

“Still,” Levi responded, standing up again. “It doesn’t explain why you do it.”

“It’s like a relaxant,” she explained, sitting back up in her seat. “I don’t even smoke that often. It’s just a once in awhile kind of thing.”

“But there’s still plenty of other ways to relax than smoking cigarettes,” the captain argued, leaning closer to the woman.

“Like?” she muttered, leaning closer to him with a look of determination. 

Her glasses were sitting on the table, and Levi found himself caught in the beauty of her auburn eye. He got lost in her gaze, completely forgetting about his argument.

Teasingly, she placed the cigarette back in her mouth, grinning with the object secured between her teeth. Normally that would earn her a slap across the face, but right now, he had become too enamored with her to be angry. 

“Well,” Hange spoke, pushing herself up to her feet. “It was nice talking, but I think I’m going to call it a night.” She began to walk forward, but Levi grabbed her elbow and gently pulled her back.

“Wait,” he muttered.

She turned to face him, their faces mere inches apart. The air between them held a different tone all of a sudden. It was a change they both felt.

Gently, Levi plucked the cigarette from between her lips, placing it in the ashtray on the desk. They remained close however, their hot breaths mingling with the remnants of smoke in the air. 

“Levi,” Hange muttered, glancing down at his lips before looking up. “We talked about this.”

“I know,” he swallowed, his lids suddenly feeling heavy. He leaned closer, his mouth hovering over hers. 

They weren’t drunk. That they both knew. They were exhausted, yes, but definitely not under the influence. This was all real, the attraction was raw.

Hange hesitated. She knew the repercussions that could come with having a relationship with someone in the corps, especially with a subordinate. But Levi wasn’t just any subordinate- he was Levi Ackerman. He was the only person she had left that could truly understand what she had been through, the only person that was a constant in her life. He was all she had left.

Levi could taste the tobacco that lingered on her lips, but he didn’t care. He'd rather kiss her than see her smoke the cigarette. Carefully, he brushed his lips against hers, asking for acceptance.

For the first time, Hange was the stiff one. She braced a hand against his chest, keeping him at bay. “We can’t do this, Levi.”

“Hange,” he spoke, placing his hand over hers. “Trust me.” He feathered her lips once more, tasting the tobacco that lingered. “Relax,” the captain whispered, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand. He kissed her slowly, catching her bottom lip between his and caressing it. Gently, he tugged, urging her to respond, and eventually, she did.

Hange kissed him, hesitantly at first, slightly afraid of giving into the emotions. But she could feel Levi’s own confidence in the way his lips pressed against hers, and it eased her worries. She trusted him whole-heartedly, and if he seemed comfortable with it, then so was she.

Levi brought his hand up to cup her cheek, while the other tangled itself in her hair. He couldn’t stand the small amount of distance between them, so he pulled her close until their torsos were flush against each other. 

The commander slowly relaxed into his touch, letting her hands glided over his chest and up his shoulders, as she pressed her lips against his with passion. She pressed him against the desk, lost in the rhythm of the heated moment. The consequences they could face were nothing compared to the intense feelings she felt. It was passionate, exhilarating, and all she wanted was more- more of this, and more of him.

As they explored all the ways their mouths could interact, the passion only seemed to climb. Hange’s weariness from work seemed to have disappeared, replaced by an extreme desire. Levi could sense this- the growing tension between them. He knew there was no way of avoiding it.

“What is this going to be, Hange?” he whispered as pulled away to catch his breath. He felt her sigh, the hot air stinging his cheeks like fire.

“I don’t know,” she responded, resting her forehead against his. He pecked her nose, leaning back so that he could see her. Her cheeks were bright red, her hair messy from the intense make out session. God, she was beautiful, and he wondered why he had never seen it before. He caressed her cheek, pulling her in once more and kissed her softly.

As they lay in bed later that night, naked bodies tangled in the white linen, Hange asked the question they both had been wondering.

"What are we now, Levi?" she muttered against his chest, her fingers tracing patterns on his skin.

The captain sighed, looking up at the crossbeams on the ceiling. Before Shiganshina, they were nothing but friends, comrades in arms. But afterwards, he didn't know what purpose he held to her. He viewed himself as her right hand, in the way he was to Erwin. He wanted to be by her side, he wanted to hold the same place in her heart as Moblit had. He wanted to become her trusted assistant, her confidant. But it seemed, that he had lost himself in the process.

Levi rolled over, propping himself on his elbows so that his face was above hers. Hange smiled, reaching up to caress his cheek. "I'll be whatever you want me to be," he responded softly, leaning into her touch. "I can be what Moblit was to you- your trusted assistant, your right hand."

She chuckled. "As much as I would love to have a little assistant running around and following my every order, I don't think that fits us."

Levi turned, pressing his lips against the palm of her hand, breathing in her scent. "Then what do you want?"

Hange looked into his piercing grey eyes, letting her thumb gently glide across his cheek bone. "Why don't you just be Levi for me," she responded, reaching up with her other hand to cup his face.

Levi's expression softened, his lips curving up in a slight smile. "Okay," he spoke with relief, leaning down to kiss her nose. "And you can be Hange."

"Alright," she grinned, pulling him down and kissing him once more. 

That night, the invisible bond between them had become visible- their pent up emotions suddenly pouring out after years of being suppressed. They wanted nothing but to feel each other, hear each other's heart beat in one solid cadence to confirm that they were alive, that they had made it. Erwin, Moblit, and all their fellow comrades were gone, but they weren't alone. They still had each other, and in the end, that was all the two veterans needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This concludes this fairly short fic. I just really wanted to write about what happened in the time in between Shiganshina and the corps reaching the ocean, because i knew these two vets had to deal with all the effects of it in their own way. Thanks for sticking around and giving all the good vibes! I have so many other ideas for fics and I can't wait to share them! ;)

**Author's Note:**

> if you want to talk or have any suggestions for future fics, you can find me on tumblr @ the-faultlines


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